Mouse-icle

It seems that I forgot to post about a certain incident, which will lead to the incident that happened yesterday. Let me start with the first, naturally.

Zak and I had come home from dinner a few nights ago (precisely August 22) and we were both worn out. As we sat in the dining room, for one reason or another, I wanted to go into the living room. When I got up and started walking, I stepped on something round and hard, yet small. I went to pick it up, as it could definitely be a choking hazard to John, but it looked strange. I got closer to see what it was, and it was a mouse head! Beside it where it's little paws, and one leg. The rest of the poor creature was missing - the cats must have gotten him. I did the typical frantic housewife jumping on the chair act, as if it were alive and running in between my feet. Zak disposed of it, and we both wondered how it got in our apartment, as we're on the 2nd floor. I settled down, and went on with my night.

Now - that brings me to yesterday. I was going about cleaning up, getting ready to watch the 2 little ones for an hour; nothing out of the ordinary. John crept silently into my bedroom, which I allowed, as there was nothing in there to harm him. As I was running back and forth doing errands, I noticed he was sucking on something. It took me no longer than a second to realize that he was sucking on the regurgitated mouse body! Because it was all deformed now and whatnot from being swallowed, thrown up, and now sucked on like a popsicle, I couldn't tell if John had swallowed any other parts.

I quickly grabbed the nasty thing, scolded John, and tried to induce vomiting. When nothing came up, I rinsed his mouth out with water, and gave him his bottle. I didn't think it was a big deal that he sucked on it, just merely a gross factor. I texted Zak about it, and he thought it'd be wise to see if John could get sick from it.

I tried to research it under Google, "9.5 month sucking on dead mouse" but obviously no other child had done this. I called my mother, who wasn't home, but my brother was. He told me that John was fine. I tried to call my maternal grandmother - no answer. I then called my paternal grandmother who is a retired registered nurse. She flipped, though I think it was mainly from the gross factor. 

I called the hospital's Tele-Nurse, and she gave me the number to Poison Control. Poison Control then gave me the number to the Rabies hotline. The Rabies guy gave me the number to the Animal Control, and after all that time, I found out that he should be fine, though he could get sick. The first thing to watch for is worms. Something treatable, and mainly just gross. The second is salmonella, and the last being leptospirosis which can be potentially fatal. 

So for the next 2 weeks, I have to watch and see if he has any symptoms, which from the sounds of it, can be anything. Whether you pray, cross your fingers, or believe in lady luck - think of John.

Here Comes the Bride!

Yesterday evening, I went with my matron of honor to Davids Bridal to try on some wedding gowns. What I thought would be a 1 or 2 hour outing turned into a 7 hour adventure!

We arrived at David's Bridal at 4:30pm and quickly got me into some dresses. Rachel helped me into them all, doing up the corset backs, etc. Each and everyone of them looked good, and they all were similar. I couldn't remember what looked better than what, so we started taking pictures of them. Still didn't help, as the pictures didn't serve any of the dresses justice. Eventually, we narrowed it down to 2 dresses.

One was a bright white dress that I had fallen in love with back in January 2011. The detail work along the trim of the dress and train was beautiful. The back was a corset, so it was definitely a sight to see. It was the right size, but you could see a bit of my love handles in it. The cost of the dress was $500, which was a bit above my previous budget.

The other one was an ivory (more like soft white) dress that had a lot of detail work on the front of it. The fabric was heavier and covered all my problem areas well. The train however was NOT my taste. It just seemed so bland compared to the other one. But overall, I looked a lot better in this dress.

At $300, the latter dress won! I was so scared to buy it though for whatever reason. I had to give Rachel the credit card so she could get it for me.

Well, it's hanging up in my closet now, so ready or not, here I come!

Extra Close with the Oriental

After I was done working yesterday, I had an appointment to finally go dress shopping. Kacey came with me, originally to try on bridesmaid gowns, but that later changed to being a spectator. 

We got to David's Bridal, and I had already been registered, as I had gone dress shopping back in January 2011 (before I got pregnant). I had found the perfect dress back then, but they had no records of which one it was, plus I had gained weight since having John. I also am on a stricter budget now since my parents aren't paying for my cake & dress anymore (they'd rather an open bar instead). My budget is $350 for the dress. Oh my, how that changed!

First off, they gave me a tour of the store, and then they got me into a changing room. A small Asian woman (Amy) pulled out 3 dresses for me to try on first. She asked me to take off my shirt and bra so we could get my corset on. No problem. She then asked me to strip down to my underwear to try on the dress. I started to undo my pants when... I forgot to wear underwear! Luckily, she said that wasn't the first time that's happened, and she just got me to step into the dress by myself, and she'd come in then and do it up. How embarrassing! She kept saying how we were getting to know each other on a "personal level"; awkward!

I started trying on gowns, and they just looked like a frumpy white dress, each and every one of them. My audience (the one and only Kacey) was very monotonous throughout this part. "Yeah, I like it". "It's Alright", etc.

There was this one dress that I absolutely loved, except... a quarter of the skirt was pink and green! There was no way I could deal with that, but I absolutely loved the way it fit on me. After seeing what I could look like, no other dress was doing it for me. None of them made me feel like I did in that ugly colored dress. 

But then, all of a sudden, out of no where, she pulled a dress that was a little higher than my budget (we were running out of options!). I slipped it on, and she did up the corset. I started feeling like I had done this before. I stepped out, and Kacey's eyes lit up. I turned around. It was THE dress I had fallen in love with originally! It was beautiful! I felt like an elegant princess in it. They found me the perfect veil, some shoes, a skirt, and voila - I could envision it all. 

Amy then warned me that this dress, priced at $500 was only at that price for another 2 weeks. After September 3rd, it was going back up to $650. I didn't feel like purchasing the dress, since if I was going to have to pay $500 for it, I might as well try other dresses that are $500 as well. I need to make sure that it's the perfect dress, though I'm fairly certain it is. 

I was so quick to get married, to have a baby, and I was fine with all that. But to buy this dress, I'm not sure if I can do it! Once I buy it, then that's it. This wedding is really going to happen. Maybe this is the "cold feet" people keep on talking about? 

Creepy Crawlies

Last night I was suppose to sleep over at Jeb & Miles house to babysit. I had done it the night prior to that as well, and I'm suppose to do it again tonight. Because the first time I slept over didn't go so well (I woke up every single hour!), and because I had to babysit at 8am the following morning, Zak offered to sleep over there last night.

So, Zak went over to sleep there last night, and I got to sleep here at the apartment. Since we've been sleeping apart anyway, it wasn't any big issue for either of us. I woke up a few times in the night still, and my dreams all were consisted of planning for the upcoming "wedding". It was an extremely long night for me.

I woke up this morning at about 7am on my own, with John still sleeping away. I was just lying down, thinking about color schemes and such, when I felt something crawling above my upper lip. I wiped it away without thinking twice, and determined it must have been just a speck of dust or something.

Moments later I felt something crawl up the side of my nose. Again, I brushed it off without thinking to actually try and grab it. Seconds later, I felt something crawling up the side of my face. I jumped out of bed and threw back the covers. All over the bed looked like little lines of dirt. Fleas. I ran to the mirror and looked at my face, and sure enough, I had FOUR fleas crawling on my face!

We've all seen a dog scratching itself like crazy on TV when it has fleas. Picture me screaming, but essentially doing the same thing. I was scratching my head, my face, I stripped off all my clothes, and jumped straight into the shower. I poured at least half of the shampoo all over myself, trying to drown the little buggers. When I finally was able to relax a little, I called Zak to inform him on what happened.

Now, Zak has only two fears: Needles, and Parasites. Fleas are a parasite. When I told Zak what had happened, and asked him what he would do if he woke up to find fleas in his goatee, he quickly agreed that something had to be done. Whether it costs us $10 or whether it costs us $400, he is going to get this under control... TODAY!

Negative Results

My midwife's office called me this afternoon, and it's confirmed that I'm not pregnant. I must have just skipped my period. Though I should be dancing around and feeling relieved, I feel like just lying down and thinking about everything.

No, right now would not be a good time to have a child, but I had come to believe that I possibly was. This morning I was at the entrance to the spare bedroom (the would-of-been nursery) just gazing at it. In my mind, I deleted all the clutter that I saw, and replaced it nursery furniture. I saw the white crib against the wall along with the dresser and changing table. In the corner, I would have had a rocking chair. Everything would have been white with the walls being the palest purple you ever saw. I envisioned myself in the chair, breastfeeding my daughter (I had a hunch it would have been a girl), rocking her to sleep. I also envisioned my two children sitting at my feet as I read them a story before bed. 

But I guess the time wasn't right, and I'm not suppose to be having a baby right now. Maybe this December when/if we have a honeymoon I'll become with child, or perhaps I'll have to wait until next summer. In the mean time, John is my baby and I wouldn't change that for the world.

Tomorrow will spill it's secrets

The nurse from my midwife's office called me today saying that my midwife wanted me to have a blood test done, to see if I'm pregnant. I have come to terms that if I'm pregnant, I can do this. I mean, I had originally wanted to get pregnant this month anyway. Both Zak and I however will feel relieved if I'm not though. Having the children only 16 - 17 months apart would be really hard.

When John was 6 months old, I was convinced that I would want another baby immediately. But it soon hit me that he was just a baby still himself. I longed for him to want me, to be dependent on me, that I was so hasty to decide on "replacing" him. If anything, now I'm scared to get pregnant, in case I steal away his innocence. I want him to have enough time being the spotlight of attention.

In another way though, if I find out tomorrow that I'm not pregnant, I think a part of me will ache. I've almost convinced myself that I am pregnant, that the idea is starting to grow on me. Of course it'd be nothing compared to having a miscarriage, but it still will feel like something was torn from me. This is a win-win lose-lose situation. Only tomorrow will tell with it's infinite wisdom.

A Toof, and Standing...?

John got his first tooth yesterday! He's been teething since he was about 5 months old, so it's about time! There were 4 teeth (top two and bottom two) that were about to come out, and the winner was...

His bottom left tooth!

As I'm writing this, he has now stood up for a few seconds while chewing on a CD. He won't do it again, but I saw it! My little man is growing up so fast.

6 Years Came and Gone

Yesterday was my 6th Anniversary of dating Zak. We had already had a great night last Saturday by ourselves (see I Believe in Fairies), so we decided to do something as a family. After the kids I babysit went home, we headed out to get John's 9 month pictures done at Walmart. Luckily, the person who did the pictures sucked, so there wasn't that many to pick from, meaning I didn't have to pay $100 for pictures.

This was the first time he didn't like getting his pictures taken. Normally he's a major ham, and poses for the camera. Today he wanted me to hold him and would crawl straight to me. I hope next month goes a little smoother!

Afterwards, we went to Sakura, an amazing Japanese Restaurant. I got my usual Sesame Seed Chicken, but John was being unusually fussy again. By the time my meal came, I had to take John out to the car and feed him, in hopes to settle him down. Zak and Kacey both came out minutes later with their meals in boxes. We got to the apartment, and continued our dinner there.

Once Kacey went home, we bought a "Stackable 9 Cubbies" organizer from Lowes, and settled on the couch to watch an hour of Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.

I love the LTR Trilogy, but Zak has never gotten past the first movie. So this made it a very special night for me!

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart. I love you always and forever. Remember, don't tell anyone; tell everyone.

Sears knows when I had my period

My sister-in-law came over today to both hang out with me & Zak, and to help with watching the two kids I babysit. John needed to go to the doctor's for his 9 month check up, but Zak didn't want to go alone in case he needed vaccinations. He also didn't know how much John ate, or any other questions the doctor would ask. Kacey so kindly offered to watch the 2 other kids for me while I ran out quick to the pediatricians. However, I was expecting a call from the nurse at the OB/GYN clinic, about me not having a period, and possible blood tests needing to be done. I told her the information to tell the nurse, and to just make me an appointment for next Monday.

When I got back, she told me that the nurse hadn't called, but she had accidentally told someone all my information. Confused, I asked her to go on. Apparently the person who takes John's pictures at Sears called, but just asked to speak to Donna. Kacey, assuming this was the nurse, told her that I wasn't available but my last period was on June 28 and I have tested negative on pregnancy tests and that I need a blood test done on Monday if possible. She apparently laughed and told her that she wasn't the person that Kacey should be telling this to.

Great - now the creepy picture lady at Sears knows my cycle better than the doctor does. I guess John's getting his pictures done at Walmart from now on!

Going to the Chapel and we're Going to Get Married!

After doing some quick numbers on Excel, and calling a few people for advice, I think that we may be actually having the wedding this December 28th! I'm a little scared, as I thought I would have had more time to lose the weight, but I don't want to risk getting pregnant next year and postponing the wedding - again!

I'm in the middle of finding a reception hall, and my family is taking care of all the rest. To help save money, we are going to be asking all the guests to bring an item - like a potluck. Tacky? Maybe. But I do have an additional reason for it. I thought that it would be nice to have everyone bring in their favorite dish to make. When they get to the reception, there will be a box for them to put their recipe(s) in. After the honeymoon - if I have money to HAVE a honeymoon - I will take all the recipes, type them up, and make it into a book. Again, some people may still think it's weird, but I'm not asking for gifts, and homemade food tastes a lot better than catered food anyway.

I'm thinking about having a Blue/Navy Blue wedding theme, since it'll be in the deep of winter. Almost like a sapphire color. I'm hoping to have 5 bridesmaids, and 5 groomsmen, along with 2 flower girls and 2 ring bearers.

I'm thinking about going completely cheap on almost everything except the DJ. I'm already married anyway, now it's time to par-tay! I wonder how many people will be able to make it from Virginia? Since I'm not paying for people's food, I want to have between 100 - 200 people! That should be fun, right?

Nine Months Ago My Life Began

You were born only 9 months ago, and look at where you are already. You came to me completely vulnerable, defenseless, and dependent. Now you're crawling away from me, searching the world on your own. I never realized how fast time would go when you had a child. I'm at a loss for words - all I can think to say is that I love you, and I always will.

I Do Believe in Fairies, I Do, I Do!

Today Zak decided to treat me out to the theatre. My mother-in-law picked up John late in the afternoon, while my husband and I decided to go to Applebee's for dinner before the show.

We walked in, and got sat immediately. After talking for close to 10 minutes, we started getting agitated as to where our waitress was. She finally found her way to our table, and quickly apologized that she was in the kitchen and no one had told her that we had arrived. Perhaps an honest mistake, but Zak and I knew that she would have to make up for the time loss if she wanted a decent tip from us.

Zak and I got the 2 for $20, and asked to get our Lemonade (no ice) and Diet Pepsi. About 5 minutes later, our appetizer comes out - still no drinks. We see the manager walking by, so we ask politely if we could please get our drinks now. Seconds later, she comes out with our drinks. She explains to us that she heard that it took a while for us to be seen to, never mind not having our drinks before our appetizer. Because of this, she told us that we wouldn't be having to pay for our bill this evening. Woot!

Afterwards, we went to Sweet Frog to have some frozen yogurt. It honestly felt like a date, with me all dressed up, and Zak well groomed. I felt so giggly, like we were dating again. Not this "take it for granted" married life, but actually putting effort into our relationship again.

Peter Pan started at 7:30pm it was definitely a night to remember. There was a lot of singing, a lot of laughs, and a whole lot of fun. Well, there was someone who farted at least 6 times while we were there. Everyone was gagging, which was disgusting. I mean, if you have a problem, then get up and excuse yourself. You don't have to make everyone around you suffer.

Besides that latter part, it was a perfect evening with Zak. We didn't want the night to end, but sadly there was nothing more for us to do. Perhaps in the near future we can go out together as boyfriend and girlfriend, rather than husband and wife.

All the noise, noise, noise, noise!

Today was my first day watching the children I'll be babysitting for the next year. First there is Miles - a 3 year old boy who is as sweet as he is cute. Then there is his sister Adele - born only 8 days later than John, making her almost 9 months old.

They arrived this morning at 8:00am, when I was still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Miles wanted to play outside pretty much the entire day. However, John & Adele were on the complete opposite sleep schedules. As one was sleeping, the other one was waking up. It didn't help that Adele is still be breastfed, and will NOT take a bottle. I watched her for 9 hours today, and not once did she have a drink. She also only ate 3.5 oz of food all day. Even that small amount, I had to force her to eat. Otherwise, she seemed very pleasant.

From running each child to go to bed, to changing diapers, to running Miles to the potty and trying to bribe him to poop in there (no Miles, you're not going to fall in), I don't know how these mothers out there do it. I had to convince Zak to not go into work so he could help me.

The low point of the day was being scared for Adele. She is so much smaller than John (16 vs 24lbs), and hadn't eaten or drank anything. The high point was most definitely when Miles told us that he had a big penis. I have no idea where he heard that, but I made sure to tell his parents, that way they didn't think he overheard us saying something! I could picture it now...

Well, I always wanted to have twins, and I essentially had a 3 year old and twin 9 month olds today. I've officially decided that I will never have twins. Never. There won't even be a chance. It's just not allowed. I cannot figure out how these Moms do it, especially the single ones or the stay-at-home moms. Even with John when he was a newborn, I needed help. I have been so lucky to have such a loving husband as Zak. He used to get up with me in the middle of the nights, even when I was breastfeeding. I mean, he couldn't do anything, but he got up to support me.

Just as I'm writing this, I'm starting to realize that what I've been looking for all along has been right in front of me. Recently, I've been looking for the magic in life, but I seem to be so busy that I can't stop and realize that it's happening all around me. Only when I look back in memories can I see what an awesome husband I've found. So we have our ups and downs - so what? Everyone does. Zak, if you're reading this, I love you. Thank you for being you.

An Apple a Day...

I knew that I was going to be eating healthy soon, but I had no idea that last night would be the last time I had a nice Caesar Wrap from Wendy's. Zak bought me groceries today to get me going on my diet. At first, I was only going to be losing weight for me. That's the most important reason, right? I thought that if I lost the weight, I'd feel better about myself. But, I then realized that if I were to actually lose the weight, the next time Zak and I were to ever be with each other again, I should look 1000 times better. I'm psyched now - I could wear a nice slender wedding gown!

Well, here's to wishing me luck! I've provided my Menu Plan below, for anyone that cares to read.

Donna's Meal Plan

*Every other hour, each and every day, I must drink ONE cup (8oz) water

Sunday

Breakfast

- 1/2 Cup of Fat-Free Raspberry Yogurt

- 8 Strawberries

- 1/2 of a Banana

Lunch

- 1 Cup of Carrots (Dipped in Ranch or Caesar)

- 1 Nectarine

Dinner

- 4oz of Shrimp

- 3 Cups of Spinach (Light Vinegar)

Snack

- Smoothie (1/2 Cup of Mixed Frozen Berries, 1/2 Cup of Milk, 1/2 Cup of Spinach blended)

Monday

Breakfast

- 2 Eggs

- 1 Cup of Strawberries

- 1 Slice of Toast (light butter or jam)

Lunch 

1/2 Cup of Spinach (light vinegar)

Dinner

1/2 Cup of Pineapple Chunks

1/2 Cup of Rice (Light Soy & 1 Egg)

3oz of Chicken Breast (Grilled & Light Teriyaki)

Snacks

1 Nectarine

1 Cup of Cheerios

Tuesday

Breakfast

1 Slice of Toast (Light Peanut Butter)

1 Cup of Milk

Lunch

1 Orange

1/2 Cup of Grapes

1 Cup of Cottage Cheese

Dinner

4oz of Lean Pork (Light BBQ Sauce)

1 Baked Potato (Light Butter)

Snack

1 Banana

Wednesday

Breakfast

1 Cup of Milk

1/2 Cup of Oatmeal (Plain)

1 Cup of Low-Fat Raspberry Yogurt

Lunch

Tuna Salad Sandwich (2 Slices of Bread, 1 Tablespoon of Mayonnaise, & 1/2 Can of Tuna)

Dinner

3.5oz of Chicken Breast (dipped in Honey)

1/2 Cup of Spinach (Light Vinegar)

1/4 Cup of Rice (Light Soy & 1 Egg)

Snack

Smoothie (1/2 Cup of Mixed Frozen Berries, 1/2 Cup of Milk, 1/2 Cup of Spinach blended)

Thursday

Breakfast

2 Slices of Toast (Light Butter or Jam)

1 Egg

1 Cup of Milk

Lunch & Dinner

Eat Out (No calorie counting)

Friday

Breakfast

3/4 of Cup Bran Flakes with Raisins

1 Banana 

1 Cup of Milk

Lunch

Turkey Sandwich (2 Slices of Bread, 3oz of Turkey Breast, & Light Mustard)

Dinner

4oz of Broiled Flounder

1 Cup of Spinach (Light Vinegar)

Snacks

1 Nectarine

1 Cup of Cheerios

Saturday

Breakfast

1 Cup of Cheerios

1/2 Cup of Berries

1 Cup of Milk

Lunch

1 Cup of Carrots (Dipped into Ranch or Caesar)

Roast Beef Sandwich (2 Slices of Bread, 3oz of Roast Beef, & Light Mustard)

1 Pear

Dinner

4oz of Chicken Breast (Dipped in Honey)

2 Baked Potatoes (Light Butter)

Snack

1 Banana

Lazy Day at the River

Today we went to the New River Junction with our friends Talmage and Rachel, along with their children Hannah, Heber, & Olive. Because they don't own a vehicle, we had to all squeeze in to our car. Somehow or another, we got 8 people into a 5-seater car. Both Zak and I felt like we were a bunch of Mexicans driving over the border.

We only got to go down the river once, but it was so peaceful and relaxing. John fell asleep on me, so I was able to just kick back and relax. You couldn't have asked for a better day. It was neither too hot, nor too cold. But it was sunny out, and with a slight breeze. 

We cooked (burnt would be the more accurate term) our chicken and pork, and had some beans with a macaroni casserole for dinner. John actually likes beans - a lot! Zak and I also realized that John has never waved "bye-bye" yet, so we decided to try and teach him. The first time we tried, he picked it right up! That's my boy!

Change in Author

I hope everyone knows that it was me (Donna) who has been posting this entire time. Because I started the blog on Zak's account, I had to post under his name. Luckily, my genius-of-a-husband figured out how to switch it over to my account. Just an update to let everyone know :)

A Tornado in Virginia

I woke up with my heart racing last night from a dream that I had just had. It was the first dream that John was a part of (I've had dreams where I know I've had John, but none that he was actually in them).

My family was here in Virginia visiting, and we were all in our van trying to get down the highway, but it was bumper to bumper traffic. All of a sudden, people were screaming, and running out of their cars and jumping over a fence to the right of us. I looked over to my left, and I saw this massive black tornado coming. It seemed to be still far enough that if we drove we could get away. But, our car was stuck in the massive traffic jam. I got John out of the car seat and gave him to my mother to carry, as she was faster and stronger than me. I gave Kacey (my sister-in-law) my laptop, because the contained all of John's first videos.

Somehow or another, I ended up back at my apartment and when I checked Google Maps, I saw that the tornado had already come through this area. I was confused, as I thought I'd be dead. When I looked out the window, the tornado was extremely close, and I knew that the only chance I had was to outrun it. I knew that it was unlikely for me to live, but it was better than just sitting and waiting to die. I ran out of my apartment, and ran past a bunch of elderly people who were stuck in their homes. I started screaming out a prayer as I was running, to please keep me safe as John was so little and needed a mother. But above all else, to make sure he had found somewhere safe to be so he wouldn't get hurt. The rest of the dream consisted of me jumping over fences, running down the freeway, and trying to find somewhere safe.

Of course, when I woke up, I had to wake up Zak and tell him my dream. Because I didn't want to sleep with him and break our agreement (again), I just held onto his foot while I went back to sleep (neither of us wanted to turn around for me to hold his hand, so a foot was just as good at the time).

And a Bite in the Night

As I was sleeping, all cuddly and warm by my lonesome last night, I started to hear our dog Charlie whimpering. I was hoping that Zak would hear him from the living room, so I didn't have to get up. He started whimpering even louder, at which point I could hear Zak walking into the spare bedroom to go get him. At which point, the dog started screeching, and yelping, and howling! John woke up and started screaming, and I'm running to the door to find out what the hell is going on!

Zak slams the door, and apologies to me, and tells me that John will suck his thumb and fall asleep. Apparently Charlie had got his elbow/leg stuck in the bars of the cage, and couldn't get it out. As Zak was trying to help him, Charlie bit Zak's thumb, which was bleeding everywhere. Of course, he bit out of fear, but Zak was still livid. After being jolted awake from that, I couldn't sleep in the silent bedroom. So I went out to the living room to sleep as well (Zak slept on the floor, I was on the couch) where the loud A/C unit put me to sleep. If nothing else came from last night, Zak has a really cool looking thumb wound now!

A Bump in the Night(s)

So, the very first day that we tried to sleep apart - we didn't. Zak wanted to sleep with me so bad, and I couldn't help but feel bad for him to have to sleep on the couch. It was like a child who was told it was okay to sleep with Mommy and Daddy for that ONE night, and seeing their eyes gleam with happiness.

Yesterday afternoon, we also did not follow our rule to abstain from any sexual activities. I guess this is going to be harder than we thought!

But we did sleep apart from each other last night! So there must be some hope for us!

A Job Opportunity

Yesterday I met up with my new potential employers - as a nanny. The little boy Miles is 3, and his sister Adele is only 8 days younger than John (almost 9 months). They seem to be well behaved kids, and Miles is pretty much potty trained. I watch them from 9am - 5pm, MWF. That's $120 a week in my pocket! Because of the hours that I'd have to watch them, I can continue to watch the other family as well (Jeb who is 11, and his brother Miles who is 9). Hopefully I can save up money for a wedding with this extra cash!

A Negative is a Good Thing

So, I took a pregnancy test yesterday, and it's negative! Very happy to hear that, though I am a bit discouraged as to why my next cycle hasn't started yet. The chart that I used mentioned yesterday that I may not have ovulated yet, as my temperature spiked yesterday as well. I thought it could be a possibility, but who ovulates on Day 39 of their cycle?!

Well, I took my temperature today as usual, and it got a bit higher. Starting to think that I may have ovulated a bit later. Before, when I thought I ovulated on Day 22, I was nervous about being pregnant because we had had sex only 2 days prior to that. We resumed our activities since we assumed that I had ovulated. If I have indeed ovulated on Day 39 instead... we had sex the day before that. So, now I'm a little nervous about being pregnant... again. As much as I love the rhythm method, perhaps it is flawed... huh.

It's a Chapter Thing

I've decided to do multiple posts in one day, that way you don't have to read a 2 page journal entry to find the part you're looking for. Hopefully this works out better! End Chapter.

The Very First Post

Well, it seems to me that it's about time to start a blog. I mean, I talk enough, right? I'm not used to typing out my thoughts, so we'll have to see how this goes...

It has now been several days since my next cycle was suppose to start. Though Zak is taking this well, it has me on pins and needles. I don't really feel pregnant, but then again, I didn't feel pregnant with John either at first. I've taken 2 Dollar Tree tests, and both have come out negative. I've decided to get a First Response Pregnancy Test for tomorrow's sample of urine. I'm hoping that this will tell me a simple yes, or no (along with a period!). It's the unknown that scares me, as it scares most people. I could deal with being pregnant if I knew I was. I could relax if I knew I wasn't. The unknown part is what gets me. Whether you pray, or cross fingers, or believe in Lady Luck, wish me all the best tomorrow for a NEGATIVE test result!

Now, on to something more enjoyable.

John has been really clingy to me lately, which I hope will pass. I love that he loves me, but I can love him from a distance! I bet all you other mothers out their agree with me. Even when he's not wanting me, he's needing me. If he can pick it up, you're sure as hell that he's putting it in his mouth. Though he hasn't choked on anything yet, I don't want to see him get hurt. Overall though, he's a bouncing happy baby boy. Who knew that 9 months would fly by so quick. I remember crying when he was 2 weeks old, because he was half a month old. Before I know it, he'll be leaving me and starting his own family.

Zak and I went to a wedding yesterday for his friend. Afterwards, we started talking about what our wedding would have been like, had we had one. After we had a good night's sleep, we talked this morning about it some more. We've noticed that the "spark" in our relationship has been dimming, and we have had many theories as to why. I believe that we are taking each other for granted now, just because we are married. I also believe that we're not trying to impress the other, as there is no point to (we're already hitched anyways!). We knew that we wanted to have a ceremony down the road, and a reception to exchange our rings in a church. Other than asking for best wishes only, we didn't know how to make it not tacky. Not just for everyone else, but for ourselves as well. We came up with a solution!

We have both agreed to act as if we were dating again. Though we will live in the same house, as we have a common denominator (John), we don't actually have to act like husband and wife. Starting tonight, we will sleep in separate rooms, and have no sexual contact between the two of us. Even when we visit others, we will follow this rule. We are now saving ourselves until we're married. Our 42 second wedding was a signing of immigration forms. We never counted it as our wedding, so therefore, we are not married. Legally yes, but we don't see it.

Are we born-again virgins? No. We have done the deed (hence why John is here), but we are going to save ourselves for marriage. I hope that the attraction to one another will be strong enough to make us want to impress the other, as if we were dating all over again. We want to have a decent wedding, which will mean that we need decent money. If everything goes according to plan, I believe that Saturday December 28 2013 will be our wedding date - on our technical 3rd anniversary.

Are we weird - yep. Are we proud - you bet. If I'm pregnant, then I'll have a due date of approximately April 11th 2013, and work off the baby weight for the upcoming wedding. If I'm not, then I'll be in overdrive on our honeymoon to get John a sibling. Hoping this counts as a good first blog post!